War and Words

I love watching Henry putting on a fight between "froggy" and "by (spider)." He sat in the bathtub full of bubbles; and grasped the two tiny plastic creatures with his chubby fingers. Passionately he dropped the froggy into the water with the shout of "FROGGY JUMP!" and the spider followed with a big splash. I watched and cheered with uncertainty because, even as good as I am being this two-year-old's interpreter, I couldn't figure out which one I should be cheering for - froggy or the spider? By his facial expression of knotted brows and pouting lips, he was mumbling to himself and I was lost but oh-so-enchanted.

He didn't seem to care which side was winning the battle. Once the spider was thrown out of the tub and he immediately called for back-up "Mommy, by! by!" I picked it up, handed it to him and he promptly dropped into the tub while froggy was in his palm the whole time. It was a bit confusing but military strategies and the art of war have never been of interest to me. I submitted myself to the two-year-old's wisdom in the warfare and he seemed to be very confident about what he was doing.

By the end of the battle, I was soaked. Because in the final violent act of the fight, and to make sure its epic proportion was noticed, he stood on the edge of the tub, jumped in the water, clenched froggy and "by" in both hands and yelled "WHOA!" After handing him to his dad who waited with a towel and a smile, I was left to clean up the aftermath of the battle between froggy and "by". That's what mothers are for, isn't it, to clean up the mess.

P.S. This was written in January of this year. I am happy to report that Henry's vocabury and phrases have expanded to include "Aw wight (all right.)" "Aw, nuts!" (This one baffled both Wendy and me.) "No, thank you." (It is getting very annoying when you ask him to take a bath, he says "no, thank you."; ask him to eat his fruit, he says "no, thank you."; ask him to let you change his diaper, he says "no thank you."... You get the gist. It makes almost impossible to be upset with him when he so politely refuses to do what he is asked.) "Ethan, go to bed!" "Stop it!" (He is a very smart and quick parrot.); put him in a time-out, he says " No, mommy! What you doing?", as if I am the one should be in time-out. He sees no reason for him to be put in a time-out when he purposely dumped the juice on the floor. ("Well, someone has to verify Newton's theory." his eyes so clearly told me so.)

Here is Henry in time-out.

P.P.S Henry's conversation skill has been improved from short answers of "yes" or "no" to "more cookies, pees (please)" or "More malk (milk)" or "Ethan paay (play) ball." or "Go bye bye! Go bye bye!!" My favorite, though, is when he says "thank you, mommy."

Henry the snow maker and Larry the cable guy

Caution: the following story may contain disgusting details of children raising. If you are thinking about producing children of your own, consider yourself warned.

I will first admit that I have no chance of winning "Mother of the Year" at all - unless you give it to me in a sarcastic, meant-to-sting-me kind of attitude - then I will accept it happily. It's better than a kick in the you-know-where which was probably what I deserved after this particular incident.

It's all the Internet's fault: I would not have be tempted to see anything on a computer if it weren't for the Internet. Ethan and I sat in front of the iMac with its beautiful large screen and vivid color; we were mesmerized by Larry the cable guy. Every "git-r-done", "that ain't right" and "I tell ya what!" elicited roaring laughter from us. Amidst of the giggling, laughing and wheezing, I got a whiff of the smell - very much like the laundry detergent I use - but how could it be? I turned around and saw that under the dinning table the rug was covered in white powder like substance. Could it be? And the next thought was WHERE IS HENRY? I stood up from the chair, following the trail of white powder through kitchen, living room and found the 2 1/2 feet tall juvenile delinquent standing in the middle of the laundry room with the white powder all around him. This tiny criminal looked up and exclaimed excitedly "Mommy, th-no!"

A couple of days ago, Henry experienced snow first hand. He ran out to the yard following his big brother and laid down on the snow covered ground as if it's a bed made with the purest cloud. So I could relate to his excitement of finding the similar white matter and confused it with the snow he saw. But how am I gonna clean this mess up? My silence must alarmed the tiny tyke. As if wanting to make sure that I understand his discovery, he proceeded to scoop up more detergent from the bucket. There is a limit to the power of his cuteness; and more so, to my ability to clean up messes. After yelping "no, Henry!" I picked him up and took him directly to the tub. Ethan was forced to stop laughing and made to take a bath with his little brother while mommy figured out how to get rid of Henry's snow on the wooden floor and the carpet.

I couldn't use the vacuum because we have a Rainbow which was Mr. D's birthday, father's day and maybe valentine's day gift one year. The Rainbow vacuum is used with a water reservoir. Even with my pea brain, I know I shouldn't use it to suck up the soap... Can you just imagine how delighted Henry will be? Not only he found the snow inside the house, his mom can make bubbles out of them! I managed to sweep up as much as the white stuff and tried to decide if I was mad or if I wanted to laugh some more. Barely finished up the kitchen and living room, I heard the yell "DONE!" from the bathroom. Quickly getting the boys dressed in their PJs, I sent them to bed and rest my head on my pillow...just to relax...

Then the sound of "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" jolted me from, um, my rest. Before I could get out of the bed, Mr. D walked in to the bedroom and said "Did you see what happen in the laundry room?" My first reaction was "DUH?"; but I've known better, "Yep, Henry's found the snow. And it wasn't just in the laundry room. Henry spread it in the dinning room, kitchen and the living room. But no worries. I cleaned up most of them." Mr. D looked at me incredulously, "And what were you doing when he was making the snow?" "Um, I was watching Larry the cable guy?"