Thursday, May 17, 2012

It wasn't me...


I have a friend (a very good friend, actually) who, like me, also has a three-year-old son who is in the process of potty training.  Like Henry, this little guy is going through the “number 2” phase of the potty training.  My friend and I agreed that it couldn’t be happening any sooner for we are getting very tired of changing smelly diapers and pull-ups.  We exchanged tips and stories about our 3-year-old’s potty training experiences and she shared the following incident that only increased my admiration for her.

“As advised by all potty training experts, parents are supposed to take preemptive strikes; in other words, you don’t wait for the wee ones to tell you that they are ready for number 2.  You need to sit them down on the potty chair BEFORE they are ready to do it.  This particular evening, though, the 3-year-old, entirely on his own, announced that he is going to “drop a poop.”  The announcement was greeted with giggles from his family and of course he was asked, “What do you want to do now?” so we could hear the answer again “I go drop a poop!”

“I was enormously pleased with his taking the initiative and also extremely alarmed at his willingness to go.  As usual, I offered my motherly assistance and the little one was adamant that “I do it myself!”  He is either really in control of his bowel movement or something is up (or down in this case.)  I got closer to him and my suspicion was confirmed.  The odor was unmistakable and the child’s expression was telling.  He insisted again with louder protest “I do it myself!” because he could see his mother’s wrinkled nose and the look of “Really? And just how do you think you’re going to take care of THAT?!”

“Extending my hand to him, the 3-year-old took it with resignation and we marched to the bathroom.  I took his shorts off and pulled his Buzz Lightyear underwear down and there it was, the evidence of his shame.  The child looked down, unbelievingly and, clear as a bell, uttered: ‘HOLY SHIT!’  It’s all I could do to hold myself together so my chest wouldn’t burst from wanting to laugh out loud.  I cast my eyes down and ignored the comment.  The boy repeated the phrase making sure that I heard it and that he really did not know how it happened.”

The aftershock of the story was of course the parents placing blames first on themselves: “Oh, I hope he didn’t get it from me.” “It’s probably me… you know how I have no filters when I’m driving.”  Later blaming each other: “Do you remember that one time (yes, that ONE time) you said…”  Or “I told you it’s not a good idea to watch a PG-13 movie”.  And life goes on.  Eventually my friend was brave enough to relate this incident to a few close friends and everyone who heard the story either LOL or LTAO.  “Why didn’t you put this on your blog?” She was asked.  Even though she’s always been a person with an open mind and very thick skin, it was still a bit difficult to admit to the world that your 3-year-old could use such phrase as “holy s%^&!” so clearly and correctly.

So she asked me to write it.

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